One day I was playing tennis and twisted my ankle. I didn't like it. My ankle agreed. It didn't like it. In fact I think it resented that and became slightly jealous. Although they say that my enemy's enemy is my friend and both me and my ankle didn't like the act of twisting it, my ankle became jealous, not my friend. I found that odd and took it out on the irc for debate.
| AlesS: if my body won't fix the ankle soon I'm thinking of going on strike :] |
| azhreia: al: try threatening it with a large mallet |
| Ngarewyrd: or better yet, an axe |
| AlesS: ankle should be the most watched-after posession... but no, my body doesn't give a damn |
| AlesS: battyden: well body should think of it, I mean it's in production for, what, millions of years, it should have thought of some protection by now; just look at the turtles |
| boodie: armour for ankles?? wouldnt that get in the way? |
| AlesS: well, maybe a slight redesign of the ankle would be required, but that's not my job |
| boodie: a few millenia for evolution |
| AlesS: see?! that's what I'm saying, the body is straight out lazy |
| * boodie giggles |
| AlesS: it's in fact so incredibly lazy, that we even have a word for it: evolution |
| boodie: you need a miracle worker |
| AlesS: I can't play tennis with a sprained ankle... I can't do anything with a sprained ankle, well I can ride a bicycle in the present condition but that's it |
| * AlesS is getting desperate... |
| AlesS: know any miracle worker? :] |
| boodie: sorry i'm all out of miracles |
| AlesS: when will you have some again? |
| boodie: not sure.. they're tricky things, happen when you least expect it |
| AlesS: I promise not to expect it. :] |
| boodie: heheh |
| AlesS: In fact I'll expect exactly the opposite, that should make it the least expectable. :] |
| AlesS: I'll even play footbal to make sure of it. |
| boodie: wow, you're game |
| AlesS: I don't like broken things :] |
| AlesS: I like to fix them though, but I just don't know how to fix an ankle. |
| boodie: time may be the onlything |
| AlesS: I don't intend to wait for another summer to play the next game of tennis :] |
| AlesS: maybe if I move down under, then it wouldn't be that long for another summer to arrive... ;) |
| boodie: well that depends, do you want to ruin your ankle permanatly, so you cant ever play tennis again? |
| AlesS: hell no, that's why I want it fixed ASAP :] |
| boodie: then barring a miracle, time is the only thing |
| AlesS: hmmm... you didn't say how much time |
| AlesS: if it's only one week to go, okay, I can deal with that... if it's two weeks then I'll need some restraints... anything more you'll have to sedate me |
| * boodie gets the injection and the restraints ready |
| AlesS: ouch, it would take 3 or more weeks? |
| AlesS: this is disaster |
| AlesS: give me a truckload of chocolate and a cave |
| boodie: plus the injectionsa nd the restraints? |
| AlesS: no, I won't need it |
| AlesS: I'll imagine I'm a bear and I'll be training for hibernation |
| * boodie nods.... fair enough, i'll throw clean newspaper your way every so often |
| boodie: anythong else you'll need? |
| AlesS: what, besides a clean newspaper? |
| AlesS: actually I've been thinking about this newspaper thing and I can't say I'm sure what you meant with it :] |
| boodie: well if you're hibernating with all that chocolate.... |
| AlesS: but it's almost pure energy... there shouldn't be a lot of "residue" :] maybe once a month? |
| boodie: whatever you say... you have to live with you 8-) |
| AlesS: an odd comment... I don't like the semantics of it :] |
| boodie: well no one else is in the cave with you, any odours or anything else for that matter will only bother one person 8-) |
| AlesS: I'll have a far more painful thing on my mind to be bothered by: my ankle :] |
| boodie: i'm sure you and your ankle will have plenty of time to reallu get to know each other |
| AlesS: after three weeks in the cave I'll be in a mood to just saw it off if I won't succeed in hibernating before :] |
| AlesS: how about if I pay someone to heal the ankle for me? I'll just use his/her ankle for the time being :] |
| AlesS: nowadays doctors seem to be uite skilled in transplanting limbs so it shouldn't be a problem :] |
| boodie: well there is always that I guess, seems like an extreme route to take |
| AlesS: if my ankle goes to extremes, why shouldn't I? :] |
| boodie: i get the feeling that you and your ankle should attemd some form of counselling, and work through this little problem |
| AlesS: and I get the feeling you've got some free space in your timetable :] |
| boodie: i dunno, fractured relationships between body parts are a specialised field |
| AlesS: you'll have to excuse me now, I'll just pop out and laugh where I can't disturb anyone :> |
| boodie: glad I tickled your funny bone |
| AlesS: I have a funny bone? |
| boodie: yes, but its not talking to your ankle, demarcation dispute |
| AlesS: demarcation dispute? |
| AlesS: do they claim ownership over the same bone? |
| boodie: yes, you know, over whose job it is to do what... really you need to take your whole body to the industrial relations council and work something out, or next you know, your brain will decide it doesnt get on with your lungs and then where wuld you be? |
| AlesS: can't just talk around for hours and assume the ankle will get healed because of it :] |
| boodie: hey, i'm doing what I can, |
| AlesS: I need more :] |
| boodie: what else do you want from me' |
| AlesS: practical advice |
| boodie: LOL from me?? |
| AlesS: what's wrong with that? :] |
| boodie: i thought i was being practical.. y'know the cave and newspapers, chocolate |
| AlesS: well actually I provided the main dish, you just spiced it up a little |
| boodie: i also suggeted counselling for your ankle |
| AlesS: you think the ankle would stop being lazy after counselling? |
| boodie: it might be all it needs to pull itself together |
| AlesS: but the whole body is lazy, sometimes it even goes ill just to spite me |
| boodie: well take the whole thing to counselling then, you really have to work on your intra body dialogue here.. and bugger the demarcation disputes |
| AlesS: boodie: know any skilled counsellors in this field? |
| boodie: not anyone who is willing to come between a man and his ankle |
| AlesS: boodie: I guess I'll have to deal with it alone then |
| boodie: aless: yep.. have a good long talk to your ankle |
| AlesS: I'll be going now... I have scheduled a meeting with a pizza and after I'm done with it I'll be pushing balls on a table with a large stick; maybe I'll talk to my ankle when I get home not to bother me while sleeping |
And the debate continues the next day.
| AlesS: my ankle still hurts... I've been thinking of some kind of temporary separation for each to think things over and then perhaps start the relationship anew, on new grounds etc. |
| boodie: perhaps some time apart would do them some good |
| AlesS: hm... what axe do you recommend? :] |
| boodie: somnethhing sharp |
| AlesS: size doesn't matter? |
| boodie: as long as its sharp |
| AlesS: but what if it decides to lead a solitary life? |
| AlesS: I can't just live without it |
| boodie: perhaps you should wine and dine it |
| AlesS: what does that mean? |
| boodie: well after the seperation, if you want it back, take it out and show it a good time |
| AlesS: but all I want is just that it stops hurting... why does it have to be so difficult? |
| AlesS: I can show it a good time without all that hassle... |
| boodie: LOL |
| AlesS: I mean, why doesn't it say something? Am I supposed to just know everything? |
| boodie: yes, you are.. its supposed to be intuitive |
| AlesS: The difficulty with intuitivnes is that it implicitly means I get no say in anything, I just follow "orders" |
| boodie: and whats wrong with that? |
| AlesS: I like to know reasons; not just what to do but also why to do it. |
| boodie: hey, I dont even know |
| AlesS: know what? |
| boodie: the reasons |
| AlesS: so what you're saying is that you don't know the reasons for your inuitive knowledge, or better said: you don't know the reasons why the urge to follow intuitive reasoning seems right? |
| boodie: very good |
| AlesS: well, thank you |
| AlesS: but you follow the intuitive reasoning nonetheless? |
| AlesS: but that's like convicting John Doe of attempting forgery before the mere thought of falsification even struck him |
| AlesS: you just don't have any proof |
| AlesS: and you're doing it anyway |
| boodie: can you think of anything better in the abscence of concrete evidence |
| AlesS: well, not doing it is a valid choice, too |
| boodie: well thats truie too.. the choice is yours |
| AlesS: doing something else also, like making sure John Doe doesn't have a chance to see the original in the first place |
| AlesS: the latter would be the course of action I'd take; I always seem to choose constructive things, not destructive |
| boodie: so how are you going to relate this back to your ankle? |
| AlesS: well my ankle hurts, there's no doubt about that |
| AlesS: now I have to convince it that its intuitive response to spraining it might not be an altogether good idea |
| AlesS: boodie: but body is lazy and I can expect nothing better from the ankle thus it's reasonable to expect it will stick to intuitive responses |
| boodie: *nods* as is to be expected |
| AlesS: boodie: so I can hardly convince the ankle not to use irresponsibly its intuition and consider some other options, too, if I don't make the body less lazy before |
| boodie: well one might reasonably be expected to follow the other |
| AlesS: boodie: but hammering laziness out of body is futile task in itself; I mean it has made sure that it would be quite impossible to do something like that, with needing thousands of years to make even a subtle change; my lifespan is not sufficient enough to even convince it to change the colour of my hair |
| boodie: well then its a lost cause isnt it.. you'll just have to suffer |
| AlesS: I feel like I'm fighting a huge dragon here, and the dragon doesn't even take notice of me |
| AlesS: but... I demand justice! |
| boodie: good luck |
| AlesS: you're not exactly of much help, are you? |
| boodie: not when it comes to ankles, no |
| AlesS: I think I should've logged this conversation and posted it somewhere |
| boodie: would they believe it to be real? |
| AlesS: perhaps not everyone, but does that matter? |
| boodie: i supose not, though last nights was more surreal |
| AlesS: yes, it was :] |
| boodie: i had several good lines last night |
| AlesS: yes, you did :] |
| AlesS: darn, I should've logged it :] |
| boodie: mmm, me too, though I dont usually log channels |
| AlesS: it's the desire that kills you, the feeling of separation and the urge become one with someone/thing |
| AlesS: but I'll stop or you'll suffer another hour of my philosophy :] |
| boodie: and i'll have to get all surreal again, and start talking about counselling for ankles and separation anxiety and demarcation disputes |
| AlesS: indeed :> |
| boodie: and then we can bring ip the idea of the sharp axe and argue round incircles |
And a bit later I restarted the debate...
| AlesS: don't you feel that ankles have a mind of their own? |
| boodie: well yours does, since it wont obey you and get better LAST WEEK |
| AlesS: pretty annoying, don't you think? |
| boodie: very.. well i've suggested counselling, you suggested violence |
| AlesS: I like to consider more than just one way of handling things... I didn't state that I prefer one or the other, in fact I like neither |
| boodie: we could try ignoring, playing it at its own game |
| AlesS: that would mean releasing control, not that I have any at the moment, but I'd like to get back in control |
| AlesS: I can't use my ankle as such, complaining and whining about every step that I take |
| boodie: discipline? |
| AlesS: not discipline, we're not in the army for heaven's sake, just a bit of respect |
| boodie: you want it to respect you, do you respect it? |
| AlesS: I don't expect it to comply with all of my whims as I don't wish to comply with all of its whims, I just wish it would have some respect for my reasonable requests |
| AlesS: I can't respect its unreasonable urge to cause me pain with every step I take for more than one week just because I _accidently_ made one awkward step |
| boodie: perhaps it feels pain that you just dont, and this is its way of letting you know its hurting and to stop making demands on it |
| AlesS: but I'm dependent on it! you can't just cut off people like that and not telling them ahead some reasonable time before you cut them off so they could obtain a replacement! |
| boodie: perhaps you need some sort of independant appendage, for the time being, some sort of support |
| AlesS: don't you think that would just infuriate the ankle? I would virtually circumvent it, do without it; it might start hurting even when I don't make requests for cooperation |
| boodie: it might, but not if you explain that this is just temporary thing and is in the ankles own best interest |
| AlesS: I can't afford anything less than the certain success; I can't even start to think about that little possibility of failure |
| boodie: I think you're being overly harsh on your ankle |
| AlesS: I'll show you I'm not: let's play a game, I'll be my ankle, and you'll be me. Now try walking. |
| boodie: ouch ouch |
| AlesS: well, won't you do anything about the pain? |
| * boodie reaches for the axe |
| AlesS: I said you'll be me, not you :] |
| boodie: just hand me that axe and no more shillyshallying |
| AlesS: now you're being harsh; I was never that harsh |
| boodie: you're not me, i dont like pain, i'll frighten it into getting better |
| AlesS: but I said you'll behave like me so I can show you I'm not harsh |
| AlesS: but I think this will suffice, you have shown what being harsh means and I was never such |
| boodie: perhaps you should have been |
| AlesS: my ankle doesn't respond well to threats as of late |
| boodie: what about strapping? |
| AlesS: strapping? I don't understand |
| boodie: strapping it up |
| AlesS: you think if I threat to strap it up it won't hurt anymore? |
| boodie: not just threaten, but do it |
| AlesS: I had it strapped up occasionally until Sunday, now I don't attempt it anymore because it doesn't like it, it hurts even more |
| * boodie nods... but since its hardly going to incapcitate you permanatly, and will get better, in reasonable short amount of time. |
| AlesS: well I don't think the time is reasonable and to describe it as reasonable is an extreme stretching of the meaning |
| AlesS: I mean, to describe it as short |
| * boodie grins |
| AlesS: I see I must work out the anti-sprain reflex a little more :] |
| AlesS: I had my ankles sprained several times now, the last time was about 4 years ago though and then I've developed a reflex that always when I make an awkward step and don't correct it at once, the muscles on the leg give way, I loose support on the leg, and fall |
| boodie: yes you must, something to strive for |
| AlesS: that reflex came into action during this sprain, too (I fell), that's why it isn't more severe, but it was too late anyway |
| boodie: excuses excuses, and you blame your ankle, you mistreat it several times |
| AlesS: hey, it could at least say something, I can listen, and it's not as if I didn't try to prevent it |
| boodie: you want it to apologise to you?* |
| AlesS: it could at least say something, not necessary an apology; it could at least give me a sign of the effort it tries to do something in the way of cooperation |
| boodie: like getting better as quickly as possible? |
| AlesS: boodie: correct |
| boodie: so what are you doing for it, in return for this? |
| AlesS: boodie: I'm being careful with it |
| boodie: that might not be enough AlesS |
| AlesS: boodie: what then do you suggest? |
| boodie: tell it you love it? |
| AlesS: well I like it and I'm happy it's with me and all that, but... |
| AlesS: loving it?! |
| boodie: a little love goes a long way you know |
| AlesS: but how can I love it when it's such a stubborn ass? |
| boodie: love it because it is |
| AlesS: so the mere existence gives it the privilege to be loved? |
| boodie: yes |
| AlesS: how interesting it would be if this would be applied on everything, the whole world... |
| boodie: it would, but you know thats not how it goes.. but you dont have to do what everyone else does |
| AlesS: I see, because noone else loves it that doesn't mean I shouldn't love it, too, so I might just as well love it |
| AlesS: but what if I reverse that: I'll just convinve everyone else to love it |
| AlesS: that is, convince |
| boodie: and how will you do that? |
| AlesS: I'll just tell people to help me out and love it :] |
| boodie: that might work |
| AlesS: would you be so kind and love it for me? :] |
| * boodie professes she is very fond of your ankle |
| AlesS: does that mean you love it? |
| boodie: i do love your ankle |
| AlesS: thanks :] |
| boodie: is this helping? |
| boodie: and will i ever get a normal conversation again? |
| AlesS: it helps, yes, thank you :> |
| AlesS: you may hav a normal conversation now :> |
Of course you can provide some feedback about my ankle, too. Anything, just that it helps. You can write me at aless at rulz dot org.